E-Rock century 2006

Here it comes. Everything you wanted to know about E-Rock. It was an E-Rockin’ good time. First off ! want to thank Frank for hooking me and Michael up with entries. Jenna and Mary S. insist that you start changing in nirvana when you swim @ Rude. Hope your knee gets better. Look @ the bright side. You and Charley are running and riding @ the same speed now. Apres ride ! was having my quads Compexed (http://www.compextech.com/compexusa/) and being flirted w/ by a 13 yr old (somewhat disturbing) and the chick who used to work for Enron (also disturbing). Even though she had only done the 10 miler, the magic of Enron accounting let her report a metric century. ! could see Mary S. (never saw Mary C.) prepping for a massage. ! made the mistake of looking @ her bare feet. DON’T! The toenails that were there weren’t painted. She says it’s marathons and skiing. ! think she’s been playing rugby w/ no shoes on. ! left about 6:20 and caught up w/ Michael, Jenna and Will @ the first rest area. ! rode w/ Michael for a while since this was his last training ride before Coeur d’Alene in 19 day and ! pace myself based on impulse. He’ll be spending that time on the couch w/ his feet up while his wife massages his legs. ! don’t know who’s going to massage John and Katie’s legs. They were both there. ! saw John and ! saw pink bikes, but none that pink. Jenna held back to make sure she survived. It is the wise cyclist who never forgets to respect the century. Even though my century experience is in the high 20’s including a double and have yet to DNF, ! never consider finishing a sure thing. Will, who ! had never met before, was mostly interested in seeing hot girls. He spent most of the ride in Jenna’s vicinity. Jenna announced that she had found some girls to ride w/. Will and ! perked up (! Think we’ll get along ok) until we found out one of them was married to Tanner and it was the one ! have already met. Christine. She has the French sounding last name that translates loosely to “I want to have lots of children” or something like that. ! haven’t talked to him about it since us guys don’t talk about that kind of stuff until it becomes a problem. ! can’t say if he’s taken protective actions such as changing his saddle or if he’s hoping riding a lot will be enough. By this time he had already blown by our gang and was probably getting ready to start his 2nd lap. He’d have never made that big climb w/out me coaching him up it though. The other girl had made an attack on that same climb and !, of course, counseled her to leave all those sissies she had just dropped to die. Sybil was out there too on her new rig. W/ all that Ti and carbon fiber she didn’t even have to pedal to haul ass. She did squeeze the brake levers long enough to let me talk to her. Then her charitable mood wore off and off she went. If Charley asks, she only did the 65 mile ride (wink wink). Will, Jenna and ! made sure to stop @ every food stop. Free food and ! have a bond that goes way back. @ around 45 miles on Meridian Rd. the max. speed descent appeared. ! hit 40.79 mph as ! churned past Jenna @ 174 RPM. ! sure am glad ! put the brake on the track bike. Jeff also got his top speed there and he only beat my by about 1 mph. coasting on his aero bars. No matter what anyone says, !’m going to claim that’s where he made up the time to beat me by less than 2 minutes total ride time. @ the end of that stretch we turned West into the friendliest wind of the day. It certainly made us stronger as we battled to the midway rest stop. That’s where we ran into John who couldn’t be missed melting away in his RMTC jacket and Mary S. who had forgone all the other rest stops and now needed to pee. ! needed to pee also as did the 7,000 other riders excluding Jenna and Will who took off. ! had one of the roving water boys fill my bottle in line so ! would really be ready to go when my turn came. Mary and ! left w/ tummies full of fig newtons. A scant 52 miles remained and almost all of it was rolling hills. Those long climbs really increase your value. The longer you ride the less each hour costs. Mary and ! would see Jenna and Will leaving each stop as we arrived. That was ok since there were other people to talk to. Like Val who no one had seen for months. She was taking an easy day instead of running the century. And the Courtesy Patrol who really helped me out. Use the silverware starting from the outside and working in. They gave me all that info even though ! only asked which was the salad fork. This was working out pretty well. Then @ the 78 mile aid station we found Jeff and Sarah. We compared top speeds. Will announced that Jenna was bonking. ! ordered her off to chug some strawberry/kiwi energy drink. Mary muttered something about beating Kiwis in the alley. Will and ! were too busy feigning concern for Jenna to care about Mary’s arrest record. During interrogation we concluded that the “bonk” was just a scam. Jenna had had a discussion w/ a squirrel. The squirrel had taken umbrage @ her cackling w/ glee whilst burning ants w/ the clear inserts on her fork. Jenna, being a doctor didn’t appreciate her “experiment” being questioned especially outside of a peer-reviewed journal and ripped him a new one as they say. Look for the paper to be published in JAMA soon. The Courtesy Patrol arrived and suggested she stop cursing and the State Patrol concurred while blushing. Jenna was concerned about being sued by the squirrel and having her future malpractice premiums jump so she blamed the bonk. After a couple bottles she was smiling again and ready to go. Will and ! had looked @ all the girls there and were also ready to go. One more rest area before Wolfensburger Hill ! chatted w/ the girl from the 2005 Coeur d’Alene group. Those 3 will be doing it again this year Our gang will take them apart. The frontage road was pretty flat and then one final climb to attack in town to the finish. ! changed clothes, fed and bought a beer. ! only got the beer because it was for charity. ! don’t think it had any alcohol in it. ! can say that for the rest of the day ! didn’t get arrested.
101.6 miles in 6:14:57 ride time. 16.26 mph avg. and a max speed of 40.79 mph. That’s on a track bike w/ a 78.8” gear (48x16). ! pedaled the whole way ‘cause !’m a stud. Average heart rate 132 and max HR 192. Total climbing was 7,488‘ and total descending was 8,735’. Oddly enough we ended up right where we started. Someone must be high. AND ! burned off 6,383 calories which reminds me that ! have pizza that needs to be eaten. G’day.