Boulder Peak Tri 2006
Sunday was the latest episode of Boulder Peak. Rated the 4th best race in America.
5 am is really early in Boulder. That’s when ! got there to line up for the main reason ! do these things. !’ve been looking forward to this for sooooo long now and ! got stuck with a guy to do my body marking. Bummer. Maybe next time.
! got a really good spot in transition. So good that Steve Pye racked his bike right next to me. He was telling me how Charley always has something good to say about everyone. This is the same Charley who has been to the last 3 races !’ve done even though he’s injured. He’s out at the track and the pool every week. He told me before the race he would be disappointed if he didn’t get any reports of bad behavior. With Jenna there, bad behavior was nearly guaranteed. If we can get Charley to start training with my coaches, Ben & Jerry, while he’s disabled he’ll be big enough next spring that we can cut him in half.
Who’s ready for a flashback? It is Boulder. Saturday was packet pick up/ expo. ! was strolling about when Tessa poked me in the gut. Likely judging how long it would last on her 4,000 calorie/day diet plan. She wants to be an Athena. That was a segue onto a tangent, not a topic change. She announced that from now on we are to address her by her street name. T-dawg. Don’t mess w/ Tess. You have been warned. Jenna, Becky and Sarah were all planning on writing “I love Jeff Carroll” on their torsos. ! don’t know why.
Back to Sunday morning. Still with me? Good. This nearly turned out to be the most exciting day of my life. Stay tuned. Transition is all set up so ! headed over to the tent just in time to see Charley discussing it’s location w/ one of the volunteers. So we made him help carry it to the new spot. Right between the beer (not BEER) and the massage tents. ! was in the Hott Pink wave so ! had a long time to wait for my start. General milling about ensued. ! visited the restroom where there was a long line of girls waiting. Waiting w/ full bladders. Waiting…to be tickled.
That water was the warmest !’ve swam in in Colorado. Women think guys in pink are really sexy. ! contemplated bagging the swim to try to pick up chicks. Maybe ! should have. About 32 minutes for 1,500 meters. Steve Pye was long gone when ! got to T1.
On the bike ! discovered my computer wasn’t working. ! had no idea how slow ! was going. It’s mostly a gradual climb from the Res. to the bottom of Old Stage Rd. Old Stage was not gradual. Maybe it is if you’re used to rock climbing walls. It turned up and ! noticed. It turned up some more. ! heard the volunteers shouting “on belay”. It tilted up some more. ! shifted to the easiest gear ! have. It was hard. ! pulled on the bars. They pulled back. ! stood on the pedals. Gravity wasn’t helping. On Old Stage gravity doesn’t pull you towards the tarmac. It pulls you towards your butt. My butt has gotten a lot more attractive (in a Newtonian sense) recently and was trying to make the road rise up to meet me. This was starting to hurt. Some people were walking already. About 1/3 of the way up. They said it’s only 2/3 of a mile. More of the same. Somewhere ! passed Becky in her smashing black outfit. Never saw her.
Now !’m 2/3 of the way. ! heard voices yelling my name. Maybe it’s Nicole Kidman trying to wake me from this nightmare so she can cuddle me and make the fear go away. No. It was Kim and Jenelle and Holly telling me to go faster and suffer more. !’d have changed their names to protect the innocent if they were innocent. They were there to torment. And the road slanted up more still. They yelled someone was passing me and ! should go faster. They must have said “faster”. ! couldn’t have gone any slower. ! stood up and attacked. It hurt before. It hurt more now. ! passed the guy. Would the harpies be still now? Would they go on to terrorize one of the other innocents? Had ! known Becky was there !’d have sacrificed her. Either ! was out of sight or the agony was. ! could no longer hear their taunts. They are all nice, sweet girls when !’m not possessed by demons.
“100 yards to go”. Did he mean horizontally or vertically? ! hoped it was altitude since at this angle it would be closer. After 7 minutes of eternity the grade collapsed. There was no more wall. Just an easy grade. There were high school kids with bottles. Full bottles. ! grabbed one and took a swig and the road turned down. Then it dropped more. No speedometer so ! couldn’t tell how fast ! was going. It felt like about 35 mph. There were 2 girls ahead. They passed the speed trailer at 31 and 32. ! passed it at 35. Cops ahead. ! could sense them ! grabbed the brakes and took pace off the girls. Two cops didn’t look cross-eyed at me. That was odd. Around the corner there was an ambulance and a bloody girl. She passed me mid-run. My velocity increased. Curves swooshed under my tires. It was shady here.
The bottom came to us. We turned onto the main road and started pedaling again. Not so bad. Right turn by the 20 km sign. This road was virgin blacktop. It was smooth, slightly downhill and straight. The GPS says ! was averaging 35 mph for that whole section. Up to 40mph. 4 ½ miles. So sweet. 9.5 miles more to ride. ! felt good.
T2 hurt my bare feet. Socks and shoes on. Get all the running stuff. As ! stood ! heard the announcer announce Jordan Jones finishing. ! was running now. Well, jogging. Jordan had been running. ! passed Yon. Volunteering, not racing. ! passed Michael. He was finishing. ! passed Luke. He squirted me. ! passed Denny. He said he would wait for me. He didn’t. It seemed like everyone was finishing just as ! was starting. ! pushed to the first aid station and walked while drinking. ! pushed on. My feet hurt. ! found the only muddy spot on the course and stepped in it. ! kept going. The aid stations were beyond the mile markers. The second one was near the 5 mile to go point on the bike course and there were still riders out there. The girl from the ambulance ran by me. Half her back was ragged. She was smiling. T-dawg told me walking was not allowed.
“Certain Death canal”. They were advertising cold water along with certain death. ! ran on. Another sign. Damn those marketing weasels. There would be Gatorade soon. Finally the turn-around. More of the canal adverts. ! took a pass. Out of the danger zone and past the 4 mile aid station ! saw hairless Bob. He had his jersey zipped so ! was forced to tell everyone he shaved his chest. The guy behind me asked if ! did too. ! turned around and flashed my shaggy B-cups at him. Don’t ever tell anyone about that.
! got by the 72 year old guy. There were more people coming out. Last aid station to walk through. Just over 1 mile to go. It’s not far enough to justify walking any. My feet hurt. ! must keep pushing. ! passed a girl walking and told her. She went back to running. ! didn’t notice the transition to pavement that marked ½ mile to go. ! saw the tents. ! heard four or five of our team yelling about the finish being at hand. ! couldn’t count them. ! couldn’t understand them. ! just saw blue and yellow. And Denny’s tattoos. ! had to sprint. It seemed like another 10 miles. ! went from a 10 min. pace to a 6:43 pace for the last two 10ths. That final sprint was slower than the fast boys and girls averaged for the whole 10k. Denny’s girlfriend flashed me. That’s what ! heard. Everyone saw them but me.
The finisher towels were icy cold and wet. ! was hot and dry. ! had to find way to the beer tent by myself. Then the massage tent. A calf seizure brought a masseuse to my assistance. ! nearly fell onto the guy on the other table.
Luke was wandering about so ! hugged him. Our little boy is coming home. He’ll be back at the track the week after next.
Once ! had food, ! could stagger back to our tent to feed and spend time with the team.
! did 2:56 for 95th of 142 in the hott pink wave. Way down the list. On the overall ! was in the top 49%. ! really should be doing better. Must keep trying. Those who did do better were Jocelyn who got 3rd in her age group and beat 9 out of 19 pro girls. She was 17th overall woman. Joe got 3rd in his age group and 23rd male overall ahead of 8 pros. And then there was Jordan. He won his age group and beat 10 of the 24 pro men. 17th fastest of everyone out there. If ! had ranked as well on the swim and run as ! did on the bike ! would have finished 12 minutes faster and 30 places higher.
5 am is really early in Boulder. That’s when ! got there to line up for the main reason ! do these things. !’ve been looking forward to this for sooooo long now and ! got stuck with a guy to do my body marking. Bummer. Maybe next time.
! got a really good spot in transition. So good that Steve Pye racked his bike right next to me. He was telling me how Charley always has something good to say about everyone. This is the same Charley who has been to the last 3 races !’ve done even though he’s injured. He’s out at the track and the pool every week. He told me before the race he would be disappointed if he didn’t get any reports of bad behavior. With Jenna there, bad behavior was nearly guaranteed. If we can get Charley to start training with my coaches, Ben & Jerry, while he’s disabled he’ll be big enough next spring that we can cut him in half.
Who’s ready for a flashback? It is Boulder. Saturday was packet pick up/ expo. ! was strolling about when Tessa poked me in the gut. Likely judging how long it would last on her 4,000 calorie/day diet plan. She wants to be an Athena. That was a segue onto a tangent, not a topic change. She announced that from now on we are to address her by her street name. T-dawg. Don’t mess w/ Tess. You have been warned. Jenna, Becky and Sarah were all planning on writing “I love Jeff Carroll” on their torsos. ! don’t know why.
Back to Sunday morning. Still with me? Good. This nearly turned out to be the most exciting day of my life. Stay tuned. Transition is all set up so ! headed over to the tent just in time to see Charley discussing it’s location w/ one of the volunteers. So we made him help carry it to the new spot. Right between the beer (not BEER) and the massage tents. ! was in the Hott Pink wave so ! had a long time to wait for my start. General milling about ensued. ! visited the restroom where there was a long line of girls waiting. Waiting w/ full bladders. Waiting…to be tickled.
That water was the warmest !’ve swam in in Colorado. Women think guys in pink are really sexy. ! contemplated bagging the swim to try to pick up chicks. Maybe ! should have. About 32 minutes for 1,500 meters. Steve Pye was long gone when ! got to T1.
On the bike ! discovered my computer wasn’t working. ! had no idea how slow ! was going. It’s mostly a gradual climb from the Res. to the bottom of Old Stage Rd. Old Stage was not gradual. Maybe it is if you’re used to rock climbing walls. It turned up and ! noticed. It turned up some more. ! heard the volunteers shouting “on belay”. It tilted up some more. ! shifted to the easiest gear ! have. It was hard. ! pulled on the bars. They pulled back. ! stood on the pedals. Gravity wasn’t helping. On Old Stage gravity doesn’t pull you towards the tarmac. It pulls you towards your butt. My butt has gotten a lot more attractive (in a Newtonian sense) recently and was trying to make the road rise up to meet me. This was starting to hurt. Some people were walking already. About 1/3 of the way up. They said it’s only 2/3 of a mile. More of the same. Somewhere ! passed Becky in her smashing black outfit. Never saw her.
Now !’m 2/3 of the way. ! heard voices yelling my name. Maybe it’s Nicole Kidman trying to wake me from this nightmare so she can cuddle me and make the fear go away. No. It was Kim and Jenelle and Holly telling me to go faster and suffer more. !’d have changed their names to protect the innocent if they were innocent. They were there to torment. And the road slanted up more still. They yelled someone was passing me and ! should go faster. They must have said “faster”. ! couldn’t have gone any slower. ! stood up and attacked. It hurt before. It hurt more now. ! passed the guy. Would the harpies be still now? Would they go on to terrorize one of the other innocents? Had ! known Becky was there !’d have sacrificed her. Either ! was out of sight or the agony was. ! could no longer hear their taunts. They are all nice, sweet girls when !’m not possessed by demons.
“100 yards to go”. Did he mean horizontally or vertically? ! hoped it was altitude since at this angle it would be closer. After 7 minutes of eternity the grade collapsed. There was no more wall. Just an easy grade. There were high school kids with bottles. Full bottles. ! grabbed one and took a swig and the road turned down. Then it dropped more. No speedometer so ! couldn’t tell how fast ! was going. It felt like about 35 mph. There were 2 girls ahead. They passed the speed trailer at 31 and 32. ! passed it at 35. Cops ahead. ! could sense them ! grabbed the brakes and took pace off the girls. Two cops didn’t look cross-eyed at me. That was odd. Around the corner there was an ambulance and a bloody girl. She passed me mid-run. My velocity increased. Curves swooshed under my tires. It was shady here.
The bottom came to us. We turned onto the main road and started pedaling again. Not so bad. Right turn by the 20 km sign. This road was virgin blacktop. It was smooth, slightly downhill and straight. The GPS says ! was averaging 35 mph for that whole section. Up to 40mph. 4 ½ miles. So sweet. 9.5 miles more to ride. ! felt good.
T2 hurt my bare feet. Socks and shoes on. Get all the running stuff. As ! stood ! heard the announcer announce Jordan Jones finishing. ! was running now. Well, jogging. Jordan had been running. ! passed Yon. Volunteering, not racing. ! passed Michael. He was finishing. ! passed Luke. He squirted me. ! passed Denny. He said he would wait for me. He didn’t. It seemed like everyone was finishing just as ! was starting. ! pushed to the first aid station and walked while drinking. ! pushed on. My feet hurt. ! found the only muddy spot on the course and stepped in it. ! kept going. The aid stations were beyond the mile markers. The second one was near the 5 mile to go point on the bike course and there were still riders out there. The girl from the ambulance ran by me. Half her back was ragged. She was smiling. T-dawg told me walking was not allowed.
“Certain Death canal”. They were advertising cold water along with certain death. ! ran on. Another sign. Damn those marketing weasels. There would be Gatorade soon. Finally the turn-around. More of the canal adverts. ! took a pass. Out of the danger zone and past the 4 mile aid station ! saw hairless Bob. He had his jersey zipped so ! was forced to tell everyone he shaved his chest. The guy behind me asked if ! did too. ! turned around and flashed my shaggy B-cups at him. Don’t ever tell anyone about that.
! got by the 72 year old guy. There were more people coming out. Last aid station to walk through. Just over 1 mile to go. It’s not far enough to justify walking any. My feet hurt. ! must keep pushing. ! passed a girl walking and told her. She went back to running. ! didn’t notice the transition to pavement that marked ½ mile to go. ! saw the tents. ! heard four or five of our team yelling about the finish being at hand. ! couldn’t count them. ! couldn’t understand them. ! just saw blue and yellow. And Denny’s tattoos. ! had to sprint. It seemed like another 10 miles. ! went from a 10 min. pace to a 6:43 pace for the last two 10ths. That final sprint was slower than the fast boys and girls averaged for the whole 10k. Denny’s girlfriend flashed me. That’s what ! heard. Everyone saw them but me.
The finisher towels were icy cold and wet. ! was hot and dry. ! had to find way to the beer tent by myself. Then the massage tent. A calf seizure brought a masseuse to my assistance. ! nearly fell onto the guy on the other table.
Luke was wandering about so ! hugged him. Our little boy is coming home. He’ll be back at the track the week after next.
Once ! had food, ! could stagger back to our tent to feed and spend time with the team.
! did 2:56 for 95th of 142 in the hott pink wave. Way down the list. On the overall ! was in the top 49%. ! really should be doing better. Must keep trying. Those who did do better were Jocelyn who got 3rd in her age group and beat 9 out of 19 pro girls. She was 17th overall woman. Joe got 3rd in his age group and 23rd male overall ahead of 8 pros. And then there was Jordan. He won his age group and beat 10 of the 24 pro men. 17th fastest of everyone out there. If ! had ranked as well on the swim and run as ! did on the bike ! would have finished 12 minutes faster and 30 places higher.
posted by Doug!! @ 7:57 PM
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