Rattlesnake Olympic 2006

What is that big orange thing up in the sky? The Olympic distance race was Sunday and the sun actually came out. So did the lunatics. @ 6 in the morning you should still be dreaming of sitting on the couch drinking beer all day. There were 4 of us out there who can’t afford new clothes for the winter. Burning calories instead of drinking them means we need belts and warm hoodies. Jim came through for those of us who raced the “Crazy back-to-back”.

Tanner, Sybil, Mini Megan, Joni and the mysterious Steve Perkins all showed up to do just this one. ! think this is the only race Steve’s done this year.

Mary, the Aussie (Oy Oy Oy), rounded up all the girls in the vicinity and made me turn around so they could laugh about my team shorts thinning. !’m not buying it for a second, butt ! can’t see behind me.

Into the same puddle we swam in yesterday. Today it was teeth-chattering cold. Steve was warming up by staying out of the water @ least until Tanner waded in. Those Clydesdales really raise the water level. Jim’s just mean. The sadistic 2-race weekend and then having Tanner start less than 2 minutes behind me for the 2 lap swim. Our ambassador to Hungary told me Tanner was right behind me starting the second lap. That’s who ! was fighting with. He was long gone by the time ! got to T1.

The roads were the same as before only longer and dry. 11 miles longer and still ! went faster. 6 tenths of a mph faster avg. My toe was hurting by the end of the ride.

10k is twice as far as 5k. That’s what the calculator says. ! decided ! should have more cushion in the shoes so ! wore the trainers instead of the racing flats. They made both feet hurt and ! got a blister. ! ran ½ a mile then was walking. ! tried to run but it just hurt like hell. This while ! was juiced up on Tylenol. For awhile ! was traveling w/ girl 111. She said it was like running w/ Will Farrell. Hollywood lawyers are preparing to sue her as you read this. She was cute though. Hairless Bob ran by and showed her his chest. ! averted my eyes and reminded him that ! was still 4 minutes ahead of him. He ran on undaunted.

The last aid station before the turn-around had bandaids. It took 2 to cover the blister and it still hurt too. Ha. All 3 forms of to, 2, too in one sentence. A homonym home run. Actually it felt a little better. ! ran past girl 111 and kept going. Maybe ! should ditch those shoes. On the way back ! was running more than walking and going faster. Negative split. Jeff Carroll passed me. Damn him. Finally the end was near. ! didn’t think ! had a sprint in me. My sprint is everyone else’s marathon pace. ! did do the last 100 yards faster though.

Yesterday my run was an 8 minute pace. Probably 7:30 on the way out. Today ! was down to 10:54. Out of 142 guys only 22 ran slower. And not by much. None of those 22 beat me overall. The slowest ahead of me was nearly 1 min/mi faster and there were the only two over an hour on the run ahead. That means ! got 3rd place…of everyone who couldn’t do a 10k under an hour. ! rock!!!!!

Just like yesterday, Jim gave out weapons to a lot of RMTC kids. Tanner placed in his age group as well as winning Clydesdales by nearly 18 minutes.

Rattlesnake Sprint 2006

It was a dark and stormy night. No. Wait…On a day dark and drear. Came her bold cavalier. Would they rescue Guenevere? Yeah, it was raining. All the way out there. And chilly. The weather cleared a bit to set up transition, then the rain returned just before the start.

There were at least 6 RMTC volunteers out there. Yon was there to do body marking on 21 year old girls. His girlfriend came along to make sure he didn’t. Tom and Amy were there as well as Clyde and Charlie. Charlie had a bullhorn. Oh and Jim Flint made it out too. Jim is the race director as well as one of us.

It seemed to be drier on the swim than on the bike. Great ‘cross weather. ! got out the prozac glasses and told Jeff Carroll whoever got to T1 first would wear his jacket. ! started the 500 meter swim 10 minutes before him, but took pity on the freckled lad. The 12 mile bike was actually 14.5 miles so it did take me more than 30 minutes to cover it.

Trish started first in the PC wave w/ Roberta guiding her. After the swim Roberta’s job was to handle the breakfast burritos. The duathlon pack went off next. They ripped up the beach terrified of the bass that had just come ashore. All those skinny little runners must have looked like worms. Fear is not conducive to navigation and they all went the wrong way w/ Clyde chasing and shouting trying to redirect them. Nancy, who has spent years not listening to Clyde, only got back on track when all the guys she isn’t married to went that way. Nancy was doing the du because she has already qualified for tri Nationals and the winner get a du World’s spot in Hungary. Will she make it? Keep reading.

Then the girls started. One every 5 seconds. ! went off to huddle in the water which was by now warmer than not in the water. And ! needed to pee. Shivering 4 feet away from Jeff Carroll and BoJak ! didn’t think of moving closer. ! continue to not think of moving closer.

Then it was my turn to line up. Then to start. It seemed like ! was doing pretty well on the swim. 500 meters in a triangle. ! got out to the turn and headed back. ! looked all the way to the beach to sight and noticed all the earlier swimmers had clumped up coming out of the water. Then ! saw the kayaker gently redirecting my gaze to the swim exit where there was no clumping. ! had sighted on the gaggle waiting to start and was pointing head-on to another swimmer.

Halfway up the beach ! passed Robin Williams. !’m not sure how they got his number on his arm through all that fur. ! hope Yon did him.

T1 was a struggle for some reason. ! kept setting stuff on other stuff that ! wanted to pick up. Mary came in and racked her bike. And then onto the bike course. It was slightly downhill @ the start then onto the main road into the park. That was hilly. Still ! was flying and opening a gap on everyone behind me. Onto Quincy and ! started overtaking people. The downhills were cool. The climbs were tough. ! passed Megan @ the top of the first climb out on Quincy. She was on her way back in. ! went over hills and over dales and when my computer said 6 miles which !’ve been taught was half of 12 miles ! could still see bikes disappearing over yet another hill and onto potentially more hidden dales. What, ! opined, could be going on?

The hills were alive w/ the sound of music. Those turnaround volunteers being high school kids, moved on to where they hoped to find rap instead. ! found them and should have rapped them on their noggins.

All was well w/ the world. ! had found the turn in 23 minutes and not fallen down. ! was half way back when ! saw Jeff Carroll. He was 7 miles behind. We had wonderful ‘cross weather and no one was gaining on me.

Turning off Quincy means just 2 miles of rollers to T2. ! pushed. That’s a tough section. ! made it and even passed a couple guys in the final straight. Only 20 minutes on the return. Negative split.

After the dismount line it was a tight 180 into transition. Finding my spot was tricky. The landmark ! had used after the swim was my bike. Ahhhh. There it is.

It had been raining as you may have heard. My hat was wet. My socks were wet and my feet were wet. ! decided to abandon the socks and go. ! went. The ramp down to the path was steep and sketchy on tired legs so ! was cautious. Once ! was down ! picked up the pace. ! don’t know how fast ! was going, but it was clearly too fast. Maybe 7:30. ! just wanted to hold on for the 1st mile then see what ! could manage. You must learn to suffer and enjoy it if you want to race well. ! fully expected to walk some. ! was suffering and enjoying it. ! got to 1 mile and thought ! could keep pushing. ! could see runners coming back so ! knew there was a turn out there somewhere. ! passed a girl who told me ! sounded like ! was about to die. She was right. ! kept going. The turn was hidden over a hill and ! made it. Starting back was uphill. ! can do this then blow up. ! did it and didn’t blow up. My breathing had settled down to where ! wasn’t paying $3.99/minute and my pace had only slowed a little. There was the 1 mile aid station. ! grabbed a cup of water and kept running. ! spilled most of it and didn’t care. ! was having my best run in 4 months. ! was starting to believe. ! could make it all the way. ! could see the finish and the trail was turning away from it. It’s less than a mile. Not even enough distance to give up in. The legs kept turning over. There were runners ahead of me and ! was picking them off. ¼ mile out and Charlie was on the bull horn telling me not to let that guy pass me. ! couldn’t see anyone back there. ! picked up the pace and left it all out there on the course. ! made it and fast too. Would it be fast enough?

Then suddenly earth and sky were dazed by a pounding roar
And suddenly through the dawn an army began to pour
And lo, ahead the army, holding aloft his spear
Came Lancelot to save his dear Guenevere

That army was RMTC. We had a podium place in about 1/3 of the categories. Micah got 4th overall. He’d have only managed 10th if he had ridden his Honda instead of the Orbea. Amy sat under the tent staring in disbelief. She made the Athena podium. She thought she was really slow on the bike. 2.5 miles adds 8-12 minutes. She didn’t know it was long, but kept going. The lesson here is the same we learned from Trish’s IM qualifier. Trish thought she was over the cutoff and kept going. She finished w/ 14 seconds to spare. Never quit. Never give up. No matter what happens race all the way to the finish. Nancy won’t be needing Lancelot and his spear. She won her age-group on the Du so she is going to Hungary for Worlds. Jim gave her a Swiss Army knife to help her get through airport security. My results were a bit disappointing. ! counted 7 in front of me and 32 signed up so as long as 24 finished ! would be going to Nats. Final results show 26 finished. Alas, my actual placing was 10th. Not enough.

Sorry this took so long. !’ve been tired. Tom was saying ! haven’t missed any races this year. ! think ! have. Just couldn’t think of any. Tom is a bit delusional. He’s married (to a redhead) and he thought he was going to sit on the couch and drink beer Sunday. Good luck Tom.

Results here. http://www.rattlesnaketri.com/index_files/Page1232.htm

5430 Long Course

How many other teams had 18 finishers in a ½? Not many ! bet.

Denny is always reminding us how wonderful everyone else is. He never lets on about the sweet stuff he does for all of us. All those parties don’t get put together on their own. And the beer. He makes sure there is always 3 times what he needs so the rest of us can get some. Saturday he made sure all of us did better than we would have. Because of the Simon Lessing shaped dent in the hood of Denny’s car we each moved up 1 place. Jordan would have been 13th and may have never raced again. He is way too modest to talk about it.

Once again ! missed every girl that flashed me. !’m beginning to suspect ! miss 4-5 events every day. More during races.

It sure was early @ 3am. On four hours sleep and 4 months of negligible training, ! was not optimistic about my performance. ! was pretty sure ! would finish before dark. ! took lots of electrolytes. The pink cap wave was a big improvement over Boulder Peak. They were all girls this time. There were even girls in my wave. We went off right in the middle. ! was nearly half-way when the leaders of the next gang came through. ! was pleased w/ my time. It was 3 minutes faster than the pace ! did @ the Peak.

The bike was fast. It’s a gradual climb for the first few miles then some bigger climbs then the last 2/3 give back all that altitude. There were those annoying guys who would blow by me going 20 mph where ! could only manage 15. Some of those guys were girls too. ! didn’t see anyone ! knew on the 1st lap. They either started 2 waves ahead or somewhere behind me. As ! turned onto 51st for the last mile of lap one ! spyed Jenna on her way out. About 2 miles ahead. She was flying. Her boyfriend had given her Hed, but she had to really work the pump to get his disk firm enough to satisfy her. She said that if it didn’t stay hard the whole time she rode it she was going to ditch him.

! yelled @ her and like a typical girl she sped up. ! take credit for the 15 minutes she took off her time. Not far behind Jenna was Sarah. ! did catch her. She tried the other girl tactic of stopping until ! was out of site.

Since Jenna wasn’t too far ahead ! wanted to catch her. ! didn’t manage to, but the important thing is that ! beat her bike split by over 5 minutes. It did seem ! was going faster on lap 2. @ 35 miles ! passed Jeff. Not long after that ! passed Ed. By that point ! was doing most of the passing. We were off wicked fast St. Vrain Rd. by then. With a couple miles to go Jeff came by. He had gotten a surge of something. ! let him get past just to stay legal then attacked. He must be punished for that. That hurt. No way was ! accepting that. He kept hanging on. The turn onto Jay road is tight and slow and the same onto 51st just beyond. My handling skills and brute force opened the gap. Still, he had proved himself to be a threat so the power stayed on. ! knew ! had no chance once we got to the run. He was dropping farther back until we hit the hill. ! attacked again and that did it. ! got a little air on the speed bumps and into T2.

! had to pee. ! had decided to wear the new trail shoes and take Tylenol so ! could survive that hike. My plan had been to walk a few dogs and try to recoup some of my entry fee. ! had just made it around to the far side of transition when ! got tapped on the back. It was Jordan starting his 2nd lap. 4:14 on his debut ½ is pretty decent. ! fear he is going to get himself in trouble. He runs @ an unsafe speed. Half way around he hit a bunny. He’s probably wanted in Boulder for that. He told the cops it was someone else. It was his tread and didn’t match any pair he had reported stolen.

Speaking of rodents, ! saw Rick, our Clydesdale, 2 miles into lap 2. ! offered him an apple and he threw an ice cube @ me. Even though ! was talking to a girl, had been racing longer than ! had last slept and had been splashed recently by Roberta, ! caught it and ate it. Oh. Rick’s not a rodent. Clydesdales usually just step on them. He was wondering why he had to park way far off even though he was one of the first to arrive. Prairie dogs moved into that area. This is Boulder so instead of doing the sensible thing with a pellet gun, they’ve turned the area into a gated community.

! had to keep running until ! got out of sight of Mary. Then ! had to pull over to stretch out my quads. Along came Ed. He was cramping too. He asked if it ever stops hurting. Duh. No. When that pace gets easy go harder so it hurts more. Sweet pain. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Ed ran on and left me. The mile markers were coming faster than ! had expected. ! was running more than walking. It still hurt. By mile 3 ! was feeling good. The Tylenol and Coke had kicked in. Would it last? ! still had to walk some. @ mile 4 there were sponges on the ground. ! got a couple. On the dam after the last aid station ! was walking. ! wanted to recover enough to be able to run the entire observation zone. Along came that bastard Denny. Now ! had to run. We talked. ! made sure to stay in front of him. He had made up my head start time plus the time ! put on him during the ride in only one lap. He told me Yon was 30 minutes back. Yon has been calling in the coordinates for his beard lately. ! lasted until we got to the bottom of the big hill. ! didn’t want to push it too hard. Jocelyn had just finished. That was the longest continuous run of the day. Onward alone again.

Roberta came by splashed me @ the aid station. ! called the foul, and in classic blame the victim fashion they told me ! should appreciate it. ! should have expected that from her after the way she looked @ me w/ the hypno-spiral goggles @ the pool.

! was peeing a lot by now. Every aid station unless ! forgot. ! still was thirsty. On the second trip over the dam, Megan caught up to me. She made me run again. ! wanted to recover until ! got to where people knew me. She slapped me on the butt and ran off into the sunset. ! went back to walking. ! got to talking to another gal doing her first ½. She was finishing her 1st lap. ! felt bad for her. Not as bad as ! felt for me when ! started seeing blue and yellow on the side yelling for me to go. Part of the reason Charlie is such a good coach is that he understands that long races are a sign of stupidity. Those of us who do these can’t always remember what we’re doing. ! had no idea what to do until Charlie started yelling “pass him. Go. Get him” So ! passed that guy. Too bad there weren’t more of them. ! got by that guy quick and still had a long way to go. With no guidance ! just kept going fast. Then it was over. This time ! did take the plunge into the ice trough. ! just leaned back and went under.

In the debriefing Jordan’s win was confirmed. Michael got 7th and Jenna got 12th in their categories both w/ 5:20. Jocelyn, who will be marrying a guy soon who advised her to pee in her pants, got 4th in her age group. The conversation had taken a turn for the worst. Sarah (5th age group) wants me to design her wedding gown. !’m thinking of something strapless in team colors. Blue w/ yellow swoops. One long sleeve on the audience side for the sponsor logos. “Mom and Dad, Church, minister, caterer, Remington shotguns, EAS, Coors” White doves to hold up the long train since there will likely be ponies about. Printed on the train “So…you went to the prom. How cute” Zipper on the front so she stays cool if she makes a run for it. And don’t forget the tiara.

! predict that Sarah will be next to join the class action restraining order. ! feel good about my time 6:06 considering the injury and resulting lack of training. Still, ! wish ! could have carried the fitness ! had through to see what ! actually could do. Next year, damnit.

Jordan Jones, 1st in age group and 3rd overall, 12th overall counting pro triathletes male and female and relay team with an incredible 4:14

Jocelyn Petrella, 4th age group 4:53
Sarah Snider, 5th age group 5:51
Michael De Seguin, 7 th age group 5:20
Jenna Godfrey, 12th age group 5:20

other great finishers
Wilmer Gaviria 5:09
Jeff Carroll 5:39
Denny Farrell 5:43
Roberta Smith 5:21
Tom Hudson 5:27
Megan Barney 5:27
Jayci Birkey 5:54
Janey Bell 6:28
Nathan Bergman 5:42
Patrick McFadden 5:48
Yon Golon 6:22
Doug Smith 6:06
Leah Raffaeli 6:23